Members of this community have been and quite rightly so, expressing their pleasure that the Ecclesgate has been removed from the Waterpark.
Word has it that Jean Eccles was not so pleased and was seen and heard venting rage, venom and tears that splashed over her beloved crystal ball, demanding why it had let her down and had not foreseen this coming.
However, a knight in greasy armour has appeared and with keyboard in hand, shot to their defence.
No, it’s not Folletti this time, he was last seen trying to write some “charity accounts” and has been far too occupied, Ferret hopes he hasn’t had Kenyon helping him do his sums.
It is none other than their near neighbour and man of broken promises Matthew Wibberley.
He has leapt to the defence of his café worker Jean Eccles, you know the person who doesn’t work there and all those people must have seen her having an “out of body” experience while she was actually at home counting all that lovely money she snatched and ran, when she was elected as chair.
Mr Wibberley went immediately on the attack with:
“Chop it up and use it for firewood this year you stupid ***********”
He then followed it with what may be a prediction from mystic Jean herself:
“Be moaning next month when boy racers have been in on night and ripping up grass then you’ve new turf to buy. Absolutely backwards”
Well just a couple of points Ferret believes are relative here:
Will the boy racers do as good a job as Jim Kenyon did when he went wild in that digger you now own on all our grass sites?
He’ll be a hard act to follow, bodge it, wreck it and scarper are nothing compared to him.
If boy racers do appear, Ferret wonders if they will be mounted astride Quad bikes.
Anyway, with security like ours at the Waterpark, do we really need to worry?
We could always get her some hearing aids then she might wake up, if she’s not trapped under anything that is. The Eccles’ Mystic Jean And A Friend In Deed: or is it a friend in Greed?
The community have certainly paid enough for the security and very expensive body cams and harnesses several times over according to the accounts going back to 2019,so fingers crossed should the boy racers the quad bike stealers turn up to the waterpark all the security is switched on,the alarms are activated,the cctv is in position and the on-site security is vigilant.
After all they have cost our community a lot of money.
If the waterpark security is good as the last times then no matter what is spent on equipment it’s just throwing more money away but then again that’s the way of life at Hemsworth now. Its time there was a review of the relevant staff responsible and to employ some people who can actually do their jobs. That’s a job for the councillors either now or in May.
When you think about it we have payed twice 1 for the security person’ (wages,renumeration package)and 2 paying out to replace stolen items. I say, scrap the first 1 and that cost can be used to pay for stolen items .
And HTC has bought a substantial amount of grass seed in the past year, so they are well stocked up for a bit of grass damage.